Do you want to make a new year revolution instead?

Perhaps there is something that you genuinely want to change in your life which is causing you stress, or is an unhelpful or even destructive way of dealing with stress. Some obvious examples are clutter, unfinished tasks, comfort eating, using tobacco and alcohol, watching too much television, playing computer games, and many more. While it is fine to do things to relax and unwind, it can become a way of avoiding issues.

Plan your campaign

Take a step back and have another look. Do you really want to make this particular change now, or is it something you plan to do some time in the future?

Or maybe you have a health challenge and been advised that you must make the change, but you don’t know how to carry it through on your own.

Know your opposition

Old habits can be like a much-loved old jumper, fraying at the cuffs, holes in the elbows. It is familiar and comforting. You know you should chuck it in the bin, it isn’t smart enough to donate to charity, and your pet would turn up its nose at the very idea of sleeping on it. But somehow it is like a part of you, and so hard to let it go.

And that smart new jumper is in the cupboard, all ready to wear, but you aren’t used to the style, the colour or the feel of it. (Of course, the main problem is that it is not the old one!)

Just stop there a minute. Your old jumper was once new and strange, yet now it is like a second skin. How did that happen, and surely you can do this again?

So it isn’t impossible, just remember who is in charge of this jumper – you, not the elephant.

Start by letting go

When you let go of an old habit, negative thoughts or feelings, it leaves an empty space inside you. It is important to acknowledge this sense of loss, what you will be giving up, even though it may be uncomfortable to do so. And the old jumper is not you, you can choose to wear it or not.

Gently does it

First of all, introduce yourself to your new jumper. Unwrap it, touch the fabric, and imagine yourself wearing it. Then you can try it on in the bedroom, see which of your clothes it matches and complements.

When you feel comfortable, wear it round the house for a while. Finally the big day arrives and you wear it in public. Someone will compliment you on how the colour suits you, and that boosts your confidence in your new look. Before you know it, this is your favourite jumper and you wear it at every opportunity.

So be sure that this new jumper is the best one for you, before you start!

RIP old jumper

At any point you may want to have a little ritual to say farewell to the old jumper. Are you still missing it?

As the new jumper becomes familiar and a part of you, the longing for the old one will lose its power. This may take time, ‘they’ say it takes thirty days to establish a new habit, but we are all unique individuals, and it depends on the nature of the old habit, and how much support we need to make the change.

Forgive yourself when you need a quick fix of the old jumper.

Keep breathing, and get back on track. None of us is perfect.

Tips for a successful revolution

Keep visualising yourself in your new jumper, successfully achieving your new start. Make a new pathway image, (see Maps of the Mind, Week9). Look at it every day.

Or create some sort of map or chart where you can record your achievements, the more imaginative the better. You could make a new pathway image, (see Maps of the Mind, Week9). Look at it every day.

You can always start with an old hat or pair of old socks and progress to the jumper when you are ready.

Support

Make a note of any support you will need, and when and how you can access it.
It might be family, friends, professional, – coaching, counselling, doctor, etc. There are no gold stars for going it alone, and failing yet again.

Rewards

Plan rewards for each step that you succeed, and enjoy them. Make it fun.

Wainwright's Path

Have you seen the television programme about Wainwright’s walks? He spent years in the Lake District, recording walks in words and drawings. People travel from afar to follow his guidebooks and now thousands of feet have caused deeply worn paths, which now need repair. Shortcuts have been found, new paths have been added and the result is that the landscape has been worn down.

Going back to Grey Matters….

As a baby and young child the right brain is the primary centre for learning about the world. It sends out little ‘Wainwright paths’ to the left-brain to establish connecting pathways. Emotional memories and patterns are established which are the source of how we are in the world. Later these emotional memories are anchored in time and place by the left-brain. As we grow older, if the path has ‘taken a wrong turn’, we can feel trapped in familiar ways of thinking, feeling and speaking, but find ourselves unable to step out of the deep rut into a better pathway.

Advances in neuroscience and the use of functional MRI scanning can now demonstrate the key role that creativity and the right brain play in developing new pathways. Wainwright described his walks in detail with words, drawings and maps for guide walkers to follow in years to come.  Similarly in the brain, the neural pathways that are established between the two sides of the barins are more effective when they include creative imagery. As we remember in scenes, we can create new scenes for more effective strategies in coping with stress.

Science needs creative images too

Scientific discoveries are often illustrated in creative ways. Leonardo da Vinci is the best known, with his amazing drawings of human anatomy, flying machines and all manner of scientific ideas and inventions. More recently the structure of DNA is demonstrated as a model that looks like a piece of modern sculpture. These images convey meaning and information that would be impossible with words alone. I am told that Einstein admitted that when he didn’t understand something he drew a picture.

Effects of trauma

Where trauma is experienced in early life, the result can be a disturbance in memory and emotional equilibrium. Someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for example, can re-experience traumatic events from the past as if they were happening in the present. Emotions are heightened; the anxiety of the trauma is repeated over and over. So the old neural pathway leads that person through bogs, quicksand, thick fog, or over a precarious rope bridge spanning a deep gorge.

Case Study: ‘Everything has gone wrong’ – again.

Peter experienced childhood traumas that were never processed at the time. As an adult he became depressed, and had a serious mental breakdown. His determination to overcome this took him to various forms of ‘talking’ therapy as he tried gradually to rebuild his life. There was still other obstacles to overcome which led him to art therapy.

Peter found that when something triggered the old trauma responses it was like being ‘lost in a thick fog’, and each time he dealt with it by returning to the point of familiarity where ‘Everything has gone wrong’. He carried a familiar image or ‘map’ around in his mind, and it was only when he drew it on paper that he realised something was missing. He could see why he kept ending up in the same place.

Now he can create a new pathway out of the fog by choosing to draw a picture and understand what is happening. In scientific terms, his brain is re-processing the old emotions and memories and creating new responses.

‘How did I end up here?’

More than one person has asked me in puzzled tones how they got from their place of pain and distress at the start of therapy to the change and relief at the end of it. Now I could say ‘You have been creating new neural pathways’ and sound really intellectual and scientific. But secretly I prefer the explanation offered by one woman, in answer to her own question of how art therapy works – ‘It’s magic!’